10 Days of Alx: 10 Secrets

Many of my esteemed colleagues have embarked on this “10 days” thing wherein they turn their law blogs into Livejournals from 1998 for 10 days to tell you all their secrets and whatnot. Well fine, I had a Livejournal once too, and I can do an old-school LJ meme as well as the next girl. Except that this isn’t a Livejournal, it’s a public blog, and in about a month I’ll be applying for Bar admission, or possibly security clearance, so that somewhat curtails the ‘secrets’ I’m going to post on the internet. So bear with me as I struggle with this!

Let’s see what we’ve got… Secrets below the jump 🙂

1) I am hideously shy and most of the time I have to force myself to make conversation with people even when I really want to talk to them. It’s part of why I don’t have tons of party engagements in law school… when I do work up the courage to chat with someone, I have such a crushing fear that I am painfully awkward that I beg out of the conversation as soon as possible. I still want to be a trial lawyer, and it’s strange – I think it’s a big part of why I love it – when I step into the courtroom I feel like I’m a different person. In regular life I’m a shy, awkward girl who wishes she could be more social; in court I’m confident, calm, smart, quick-thinking, and impressive. The transformation is amazing!

2) Sometimes when I’m bored or nervous I imagine the world in comic book form. I just think about what things would be like in that specific situation if we were in a comic strip or graphic novel. Would someone throw a desk? Would someone run away and leave behind a puff of smoke? Would there be a fight that looks like a growing snowball, arms and legs popping out every once in a while and drawing in passersby?

3) Like, from what I can tell, most trial lawyers, I am powered almost 90% by sheer anger and spite. I am either angry, or tired. Anger is good – I can work with anger, but exhaustion is fatal because once I stop moving I won’t start again. I think it’s the product of a somewhat painful/difficult past – anger and spite are things I had a lot of practice molding into productive, positive forces. It’s a big part of why I read political blogs every day. Some people drink coffee (well, I do that too), I get really mad. Whatever works!

4) I am pretty judgy. I have probably judged you. It’s not that I think I’m better than other people, because believe me, I really don’t – but I think I just spent long enough as a total introvert that it became second nature. Also, making quick assumptions about certain aspects of peoples’ personalities is a survival mechanism for me, one I got really, really good at at a very young age – and that pretty much leads into the judgy thing. Sorry!

5) I fall in love with every city I visit and immediately make plans to move there. I grew up kind of disconnected and all over geographically, which is probably the key here – but it could be anywhere and I will suddenly decide it’s the place for me and I must live there. Until I go somewhere else. Or, in the case of Vegas, for three days. Either way. Related to this, I had the (failed) goal for years of being on every continent before I turned 21. I missed it by one – Antarctica, which I am extra pissed about because my dad was offered a spot on a scientific cruise thing there and I COULD HAVE GONE but he was like “oh no who would want to go there” and he turned it down. Aside from that, I traveled abroad at least once a year for a month or more – every year until I graduated college. There were some scary times (I have been pulled out of a car at gunpoint at a roadblock) – but I am thankful for every experience because I could not see the world the way I do without it.

6) I can pick (almost) any lock. No I’m not a criminal mastermind, I’ve really never broken the law actually (well aside from driving too fast and smoking/drinking before I was 18), it just started as a curiosity and then grew into kind of a weird hobby. I think one day when I was 8 I was like, hey I wonder if I could do this (this is the danger of having an only child and 2 working parents, people)… and then it just kind of became a thing. I suppose it’ll be a useful skill one day? I don’t know. It’s second nature now, and no one really knows it about me because it’s not like it comes up in conversation, and it seems so natural now… I was astounded recently when my partner was totally blown away when I picked the lock to our apartment in like .3 seconds. *Shrug* Introverts and weird hobbies!

7) There is a picture of John McCain that always makes me happy. Seriously, I could be on the verge of suicide, and if I look up this picture I will laugh for long enough to feel better. It’s below – this great image that is totally unexplainable… McCain is doing this weird zombie walk and sticking out his tongue and grabbing for Obama’s ass. NO IDEA what was going so horribly wrong there, but if I was in charge of the contest for the best picture in the entire world, ever, it would be this one. See for yourself:

zombiemccain_reuters.jpg

See?

8) My favorite word, ever, is ‘pamplemousse’ – the French word for grapefruit. Always has been. That is all.

9) I am pretty certain I do not want children. This is a secret because I feel oddly affected by social pressures to want children, and I know my dad really wants grandkids (and he’d be a totally rockin’ grandpa), but I just don’t feel it. People tell me I’ll get it when I get ‘older’ but I’ve been waiting and that maternal baby drive thing still hasn’t kicked in. I pretend pretty well, when it comes to gurgling at other peoples’ babies and looking at baby clothes and baby things and pretending I want to buy them. Blah. Watch me change my mind and then one day my kid will find this and have a nervous breakdown. Hmm.

10) I absolutely and totally hate birds. In general I am the staunchest animal lover you’ll meet – I never met a furry, fuzzy, four legged, clawed, cleft-footed, etc creature I didn’t LOVE. From giraffes to chinchillas, I love them all. Except birds. I have a longstanding grudge against birds in general after one stole my sandwich when I was like 6 at Disney World and in the middle of a blood sugar crisis. I was about to need medical help, when I got my sandwich, put my stuff on it, was about to take a bite… and this big, ugly, stupid heron came up and grabbed it out of my hands, just like that. I have never been so mad in my life. Birds are assholes, I hate them.

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